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Joint Custody with a Jerk : Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, A Hands on, practical guide to coping with custody issues that arise with an uncooperative ex-spouse
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Book Description
Parenting is difficult enough in a family where the two parents love and respect each other. In divorce, where the respect has diminished and the love has often turned into intense dislike, co-parenting cane drive on or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that will help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife by describing examples of common problems and teaching you to examine your role in these sticky situations. These strategies for effective mediation are easy to apply, down-to-earth, and innovative.
Customer Reviews:
Review 1. Recommend for all custody battles!, 2005-09-06
This is an excellent book for both parents who are having a difficult time dealing with one another. It helps put the real issues up front and teaches you how to deal with a very difficult ex-spouse.
Review 2. I'd give it more stars! Definitely worth the price!, 2004-11-02
I picked it up, bitter and looking for humor. What I got instead was a nearly plug-in formula for communicating with my ex who is so difficult we were forbidden to communicate except by email or text message. I learned how to not let him foist his problems onto me, while still not creating problems for our kids. Anyone who couldn't find value in this book is either as calm and wonderful as Mr. Rogers or simply cannot read. I'd even recommend this book to ANYONE who needs help "talking like a therapist" in order to get through communications with difficult people of any kind. I know its helping me.
Review 3. Helped me get a handle on my custody chaos!, 2004-10-25
The two main things I got from this book were: 1) It helped me achieve a certain level of peace with my custody situation, and 2) It taught me some effective ways to communicate with both my ex and my son. These two things have definitely helped me get a handle on my custody chaos, and consequently I am able to focus more energy on parenting.
The book's early chapters deal with common problems that arise in an uncooperative custody relationship. The authors teach you how to break each problem down into the actual problems themselves, and the emotional component of the problems. By analyzing and understanding your own emotional reaction to an issue, you can deal with it much more effectively, and it ends up having less control over you. Sometimes you find that what you thought was a problem is actually not a problem at all, but just an emotional trigger.
Later chapters deal with effective ways to communicate with your ex. The suggestions the authors give are practical, and so far the ones I've used have worked. They are probably good for other types of relationships too.
The authors stress that building your child's self-esteem and self-confidence is extremely important. They also emphasize that even if your ex is a jerk, your child still loves and needs him or her. The authors teach that it is important to recognize how our words and actions affect our children.
I recommend this book for anyone who feels that their custody situation is out of control, or who has communication problems with their ex. No book will solve all your custody problems if your ex is a jerk. When you finish reading the book, your ex will probably still be a jerk. You will, however, be better equipped to deal with the jerk in your life.
Review 4. parents read this first, 2004-06-09
If only both parents would read this book first...before they begin a child custody battle, many family court attorneys and functionaries would be unemployed. This book provides valuable communication tools especially for parents beginning the divorce process. It can be helpful to those who are already in advanced stages of divorce & child custody 'wars' although creating and maintaining healthy communication may be more challenging after unhealthy patterns have taken hold and more time may be needed to succeessfully change negative behaviors. As the book warns: it is not intended for situations involving family violence or child abuse.
Review 5. Not worth opening the cover, 2004-04-22
Not much information to find in this book, though it can be entertaining if you are bitter and need to find something to read while you are in the same situation. Don't look for answers from this self helper, there are none. Spend your money on ice cream instead. You'll be happy you did.
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